| 016. [well, that was just about right on time] |
[02 Sep 2007|10:31pm] |
the aforementioned girl and i no longer speak.
apparently we were never together and that we were just "playing because we were bored and lonely".
and that i'm "controlling" and other bullshit claims.
i really don't care, tbh.
:D
being single is fine.
the right girl/boy just needs to find me
NOW.
|
|
| 015. |
[26 Aug 2007|05:50pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 relieved |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
television |
] |
ughhh. this weekend has been... a rollercoaster, for lack of a better word.
kalie & i's first fight was this afternoon D:
but it's all smoothed over now~
if anything, we understand each other more now.
i found out a lot about her that i didn't know
and didn't really have a reason to ask about.
and i think things can only go uphill from here :D
we're both considerably damaged, in different ways.
but i don't care :D
as i told her: i love you for you, no matter what that means.
|
|
| 014 [finally, happiness <3] |
[13 Aug 2007|12:35am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 immensely loved |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
just the television. |
] |
i had been so upset and just... glum recently.
at one point i could swear i was having some sort of mild anxiety attack.
it wasn't getting worse, but it wasn't really getting better either.
one day, i started talking to a girll i've had on my myspace friendslist for awhile.
i always thought she was cute, but i never really thought she'd take an interest in me.
well, color me wrong XD
her name is kalie <3
there isn't too much of an age difference, i'll be a junior and she's just recently started her senior year
& i wouldn't care anyway :D
but ugh, she's adorable and sweet and says the cutest things :D
she does live in tennessee, though D:
and we're not exactly exclusive; i'm not sure, i haven't brought the whole relationship question up.
but for now, i'm pretty content.
she says i'm classically beautiful; "a 1940's face", as she puts it =D
finally, happiness!
it feels really good to be loved again <3
|
|
| 013. [pride] |
[15 Jun 2007|05:09pm] |
it's slightly sad that i didn't know this
but with the aid of today's paper
i found out that anchorage pride events apparently started today.
too bad i don't have the courage to come out to my parents as bisexual
[i basically had a dream awhile back that i did & it scared me shitless]
& i can't think of anyone to go with me.
but it goes until the 24th, so who knows?
that's really all.
|
|
| 012. |
[06 May 2007|05:56pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 frustrated |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
CSI |
] |
okay, so things with the aforementioned girl are never going to happen.
she's a freaking liar, and just a general bitch in my opinion.
we'd set up to do things, she'd cancel or just not let me know when/where, and then give me lame excuses or none at all.
she fucking led me on for a long time, and then goes up and gets a boyfriend and a girlfriend at the same time, both without a word to me.
so whatever, i'm done.
but, of course, i have another dilemma of sorts.
i've fallen really freaking hard for another girl.
and now that i realize it, it explains a lot of weird behavior from earlier years.
[i've dreamed about her more than anyone else]
yes, years.
we met on a website when we were in seventh grade.
we were easily very fast friends, and actually plan to meet someday.
i don't really know when i first started falling for her, it kinda melds together.
but... lsfkdjsfklsd.
i can't really describe it.
she's so good with her words.
she wants to be a writer someday
[and so do i]
and she takes amazing photographs.
and she's really pretty :D
but her personality is killer too.
and i know she likes girls
she's been lesbian for the past... three years, i think.
but the trouble is-- she's dating someone right now.
[a guy, but that's not important]
she's finally in a good relationship.
they've been dating for a month, maybe 2 by now.
sdfjdsfklsdf.
i just have fallen really freaking hard.
D:
what do i do?
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|
| 011. |
[30 Mar 2007|09:15pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 excited |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
what not to wear :D |
] |
i need a girl.
really bad.
i mean, i have someone in mind, and she knows that, but it doesn't look like it's wanting to work out.
we always end up not doing anything [even when we plan to do something together]
she's going away for 5 months in less than 100 days [approx. end of june]
it just seems like there's always something wrong with her
idk.
the point is: i need a cute girl.
i'm not in a guy mood right now~
with the exception of very few guys, all of them seem to be unattractive and annoying~ D:
i just need to get out more.
i sometimes do see cute girls, but i never approach them.
i just need to find something to say.
but more importantly-- i need to say something.
because [at least i've heard that] it's not what you say: it's how you say it.
so yeahh. i need to go out and find cute girls and talk to them. :D
i guess i'm answering my own questions.
on a final note-- if you have any tips/etc [or just something to say XD] comment, por favor :D
|
|
| 010. |
[02 Mar 2007|09:05pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 crushed |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
wntw |
] |
help me~
lkjlfjlskdfdsf she just broke up with me.
she says that she
"doesn't feel like it's right because it's... online"
[keep in mind that the relationship was her idea in the first place]
and she
"doesn't want to lead me on"
because she
"loves me, but not romantically"
kldflkad;fdsf. i've never been broken up with before. i've always done it.
just. klfj;sdfkjs;dfjkdsdfd. comfort me, ne?
DDDD:
|
|
| !!! [009] |
[26 Feb 2007|09:05pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
excited |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
csi miami. |
] |
holy shittttt.
i don't think many of you feel as good as i do right now.
okay so i've liked this girl for awhile now
& it's a long story, but it ends with me wanting a chance with her
so i told her & she's thinking about it! :D
the catch is-- she leaves in 1-2 months [she joined the navy]
[it's not going to be easy but it won't be too hard, i'm already military familiar :D air force brat!]
so i'm still all lfjka;fjslkdfdsfs
but it's in that good way
i'm so happy :D
!!!!!!!!!!!!
|
|
| 008. |
[17 Feb 2007|10:08pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
sad |
] |
what really hurts is
when i know she's hurting
but because of the freaking distance i can't do a goddamn thing for her
lksdflksdfsld
my insides are just a jumbled mess
i can't even say how i feel
lsfdjkdsdfsdf
comfort?
|
|
| 007. |
[23 Jan 2007|07:39pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 okay |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
csi rerun :D |
] |
okay so
for all of you that read that one entry
[with the girl i liked near me]
i ended up telling her.
she said that she's trying to get with a guy she likes right now
but that i do indeed have a chance [eventually]
so i feel pretty good :D
i could be better, admittedly
but i didn't get totally rejected
so i'm good :D
|
|
| 006. |
[21 Jan 2007|08:15pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
really loved & content |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
television |
] |
i just finished talking to her.
she makes me feel soo much better ♥
she can tell when i've got a little something bothering me.
she gives me the butterflies and makes my heart beat fast.
she's everything i could ever want & need [& more].
i can only imagine how it'll be when i finally get to california.
it's going to be freaking amazing and mindblowing and just... unimaginable.
|
|
| 005. |
[18 Jan 2007|06:36pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 confused |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
fresh prince. |
] |
i stayed home from school todaaaay~
but only for cramps
fucking period kicked at 5:30 am
so my mom let me stay home :D
lkfjdgkd why do girls have to be so.... difficult?
okay so there's this girl i like up here
she lives kinda close and i know for a fact that she's bi
but she's a senior and i can barely even talk to her and slfkdjlsfk it will never work
but i'm really happy because she's supposedly quitting drinking/smoking :DD
i'm pretty sure she doesn't know i like boys and girls, though.
i'm not sure how to bring it up without it being awkward/telling her about my girlfriend
[i don't want to do that because mine & my girl's relationship is open, but idk if the girl i like would look at that as "taken and off limits" or not]
lsfjlddgfdf. i just like her tonnnns.
idk what to do & i'm most likely seeing her sometime next month.
[we're both going to an anime convention up here on feb. 24th]
anyway, i'm done :D
|
|
| 004. |
[17 Jan 2007|10:02pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 sleepy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
most shocking moments caught on tape. |
] |
"most shocking moments caught on tape" = they aren't that shocking. x3
[i'm watching it on tv]
today was boring.
i need to do something this weekend D:
i've been so bored lately
it really sucks.
i really don't have anything else to say
so leave me love
♥
|
|
| 003. |
[16 Jan 2007|07:50pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 kinda crappy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
CSI rerun |
] |
ugh. internet was down from 2:30 pm to almost 7 pm. D: I was pisssed.
thank you for all of the comments! :D ilyou guys ♥
welcome to my newest friend, ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) knifewithagun!
[i expect comments from you too =P don't think you're special]
|
|
| 002. |
[15 Jan 2007|08:28pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
loved |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
television |
] |
' i'll always love you '
i swear my heart skipped a beat.
i love her more than anyone.
♥
|
|
| konnichiwa, minna-san~ |
[13 Jan 2007|09:58pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 content |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
house. |
] |
this is a new journal for me.
in which i will talk about things i can't talk about with some of my friends.
for now this will remain public.
but if issues present themselves, i can easily make it friends-only.
:D thank you.
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] |
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